This way-too-long post made ME blush

This is going to be one of those posts where you are going to say "Oh no she di-nt!" Or "Oh my, this is soooo inappropriate." Or "I am sooo glad my relative didn't write this!"

Today we are talking about waxing. More specifically, waxing your uh, how shall we say...hoo ha, down there, va-jay-jay. You get the idea. So, grandparents and gay men just move along, move along. Nothing to see here.

I am writing about this because anytime a girlfriend finds out I get my bikini area (yah, that's a nicer way to say than anything in my list, but where's the fun that?) waxed she immediately wants to know EVERYTHING. So, many questions out there. And there are some answers, but it is hard because you want to get this type of information from someone you trust. If you trust me, read on. If not, you can move along with my grandparents and the gay men to some other benign post, like this one or this one.

I have been around the proverbial waxing block. I have had the Midwest, the Russian, the random salon, the northwest, and most disturbingly, the self-wax experience. So, I think I have some insight here.

Also if you are curious about the difference between a Brazilian and a regular bikini wax go here for a more tactful explanation than I could ever give you. It describes it well, but does not point out that the Brazilian includes your backside too. I had to include this extra tidbit because I once tried to explain what was going to happen to a friend during her first Brazilian and I forgot to point that out. Yah, she was a little surprised. I don't want to make the same mistake with you.

The home wax

The first time I ever waxed anything, I decided to start with my bikini area and do it on my own. I am cheap like that. Even though it was a few years ago, I remember the few times I tried self waxing vividly. I have a couple of friends that manage to self wax. In fact, I have gotten lots of advice and have tried to wax everything from my legs to my toes to my bikini area. They have all been disastrous. Basically, I am a huge wimp. Every strip requires me to give myself a little pep talk before I rip the strip off. It takes a few minutes, many false starts, and heavy breathing. The worst thing you can do when you are waxing yourself is to anticipate and to pull the strip off without any real gusto. I can't seem to get either of these skills down, so it is way more painful for me to self wax than to just pay a professional to do it.

I thought about doing it again as a sort of how -to was yourself post for ya'll. But, I just can't drink like I used to. However, if you insist on trying this, I recommend making sure you coat your skin in baby powder first and you start with some of those strips that you warm between your hands, like Parissa. It is great for beginners.

The Russian

Well, let's jut get the obvious out of the way first. She's Russian. I found her on Yelp back when I lived in San Francisco, and she is fabulous. She was a nurse back in Russia so she is privy to all those concerns you might have about cleanliness or what have you. We got to know each other a bit over time, Irina and myself, and that made the experience much more pleasant. But, make no mistake, she is Russian.

This is a no frills sort of wax, especially if you are getting a Brazilian. There is no courtesy towel or ho-humming over your precious insecurities. I think part of this is because she used to be a nurse. It's just not that big of a deal to her. So, for the Russian wax be prepared for her to be like, looking and stuff. That woman is committed to getting every last hair. Every one. Take a minute to really examine where you have hair down there. Go ahead, I'll wait. Yah. She's gonna get all those. No one out there does a thorough of a job as Irina. I would recommend her to anyone living in the bay area. This is where you can find her.


The Random Salon

I once went as a walk-in with no recommendation to a new place in my neighborhood when I lived in SF. This is by no means a way to get a bikini wax as I learned the hard way. I went because I was feeling a bit broke, didn't want the full Brazilian, and Irina was a little on the spendy side (for good reason, as it turned out). The most memorable part about this wax was that I was on a tall table and the woman waxing me was a VERY short woman. Uhhhh, I don't think I have to paint much more of a picture for you to see why this was awkward for me. Also, the quality of wax makes a difference as I learned, because a poor quality of wax or waxing job leads to a lot of ingrown hairs.

The Midwest

I was home once, back in West Virgina, for a summer right before I started graduate school. I was about to leave for a last hurrah vacation to Hawaii and I hadn't had a proper bikini wax in quite some time. I was a little wary, but I found what I thought was the best option. First of all, there were two things that should have warned me what sort of experience I was in for. One, the hard wax was pink. Two, there was not just a choice of regular or bikini wax. There was a whole host of choices I had never heard of, including things called the Sphinx. Basically, this woman had carved out a name for everything in between a regular bikini wax and taking it all off. Very confusing. Usually, you just tell your esthetician how much you want her to leave and then she does it.

Also, this woman was the complete opposite of Irina. She went through great lengths (mostly by telling you where to put the towel and your hand) in order to not actually see any part of your...uhhh....you know. That sort of weirded me out. Plus, it left me wondering how she would actually do a real Brazilian should anyone be willing to pay her exorbitant prices. Or maybe she just charges a lot to keep people from ever coming in for one.

The northwest

This is the best one yet. Fortuitous, since I live in the northwest. Susan owns the business herself. I have been seeing her for almost two years now. She is a real gem out here in waxing land.
She is really an expert at not only doing a wonderful job, but creating a setting that is warm and inviting. Susan is one of those people who really makes you feel comfortable and you come to think of as your friend. Perhaps, the one friend that only sees you when you have your pants off, but a friend nonetheless. Susan is also wonderful because her prices are really reasonable, making it affordable to those of us that are apparently going to be students for forever to visit her often. I would recommend her to anyone within driving distance. Here is her website.

2 comments:

dbelle said... August 24, 2009 at 5:28 PM  

danggit- i wrote a long awesome comment and the forget to type the spam -protector word and so it got erased.

harumph.

GG online said... August 25, 2009 at 4:40 PM  

Wonderful- thanks for sharing, I would never have known- you are more dedicated to hair removal than I am. I don't even shave my legs if I can help it.
Oh also, being from WV you should know this but maybe you've forgotten... WV is not in the midwest. It's in the mid-Atlantic! (whatever that means) Geesh!

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